There's plenty of hurt and blame and anger to go around. What I'm not hearing a lot of, and haven't since the beginning, is the willingness to sit down and listen and be willing to own up to everyone's part in this. Because dude, you're not alone in it. Your wife plays a role in this as much as you do. No, she didn't go out and have an affair, but I know from myriad conversations with you over the years that there were things going on (or better yet, not going on) at home that led you to where you are today.

so where's the couple's counseling? where is she in all of this? It really sounds like it's pile on dude time over there and place every bit of the blame on you and take none for herself. I know she has some health stuff going on, I get that ,But that absolutely does not give her a full pass from her part in things.

As for your kids, yes, they deserve to have their dad in their life. And yes, people should endeavor to keep their promises. But man, we all fuck up. And we all say things in the moment when we're fucking drowning. I hope that one day you and your daughter can sit down, maybe with a therapist/counselor/trusted friend and have those hard conversations, because she needs to know that you've been trying and you've been doing everything you can to keep your head above water. And that at the end of the day whatever has gone on between you and M and you and her mother has fuck all to do with how you feel about her.

Hugs, I know all of this is hard af. I've been there, as the spouse/partner being cheated on. And as the unwilling/unknowing AP, with a married guy who I didn't know was married. So I have the unusual ability to be able to see things from more angles than most, but we've talked about that before. Hugs.